Starting Over Again
by leighsm
Summary: My version of what happens several years after Michael is set free. This follows my other story, Love Is a Three Letter Word archived at Ranma's. Hope you enjoy this.
1. Prologue

_Aloha everyone:_

_I apologize for the delay in posting the remainder of Section 1. Grad school and work have combined these past few months to keep me very busy. But I do intend to finish the revisions on that and continue posting. Meanwhile I'm posting here a short story, a prologue and 10 chapters in all, of my version of what happens several years after Season 5. It's a companion piece to my other story called "Love is a Three Letter Word" that is archived at Ranma's. Love Is... comes first and then this story._

_Of all the stories I've written "Love Is.." and this story are my favorite pieces. I hope you enjoy it too. _

_Leigh_

_Starting Over Again_

Prologue:

"Where will you go, Nikita?"

I pretend not to hear Monique's question as I stare out the window. The sun is just setting over the mountains and night is fast approaching. I hear Monique's exasperated sigh.

"So that's it? You're just going to disappear?"

"It'll be safer for you that way."

"Safe from what? Section's gone, Nikita. The Committee's absolved you of any crime. You're free to go. We're free!"

I shake my head slowly, her naiveté making me smile. Section's public exposure and the ensuing investigation by the UN had led to its closure but I would never be free from it. There were too many memories there for me to erase from my mind. Some of those memories I don't want to forget, like Birkoff and Walter… and Michael.

Just the thought of him fills me with a familiar dull ache. Its been seven long years since I've last seen and heard from him. Seven years that I've tried my best to move on without him. Sometimes I'm able to put him out of my mind for days at a time, and then something will happen to bring my memories of him flooding back. I find myself wondering how he and Adam are doing. If he has found peace with himself. If he has learned to love again.

If I wanted to I could use the resources available to me to find him, but I won't do that to him. I can't fill his life with a past I'm sure he's working hard to forget. It wouldn't be fair to him or Adam or to any new life that they've built these past years.

From behind me I hear Monique push her chair back from the table and then the sound of her footsteps leading to me. "What if I'm not safe?" she asks, changing the angle of her argument. "What if I need you, how will I find you?"

"You won't need to. I'll know if you're in danger."

Monique raised her brow and then folded her arms across her chest. "So you're having me watched? It's okay for you to know where I am and what I'm up to but it's not okay for me to know where you are?"

"Something like that."

"Bull---t, Nikita."

"Watch your language."

"Oh f--- you." She paced back and forth and then turned to point at me. "You know, you are just like him. For all your claims of never having known our father your whole life I can tell you that you're exactly like him: controlling, manipulative… Infuriating!"

I try not to smile as I look at her. Monique and I have had our share of arguments over these past few years that we've gotten to know each other. I'm willing to admit that I've had my moments of envying her the life she's led, but as I grew to know her I realized that her life hasn't been as privileged as I once thought it was. Every material thing she could possibly want was hers for the asking. But she grew up alone, not allowed companionship or friends.

I walk over to her and place my hand upon her shoulder as I try to make her understand. "I'm sorry you think that I'm trying to manipulate you, Monique. I'm not. You're the only person I have left in this world and I'm trying to keep you as safe as possible. I don't know where I'll be but once I do I'll contact you and let you know that I'm safe."

"But you won't let me know where you'll be."

"When I know that it's safe, if the place I'm at is secure and I feel you won't be in any danger, then I'll let you know."

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime?" she asks, frowning.

"Live," I answer, smiling at her. "You've got a new identity, money… the world is your oyster. Live the life you've always wanted. Be normal!"

Her frown deepens, doubt and a touch of fear shining in her dark eyes. "Is that possible, Nik? Can people like us ever be normal?"

In answer I reach out and pull her into an embrace. "We can try, Monique. We can try."


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: A new home

The house was little more than a fishing hut that had been extended over the years. The original owners had moved away to France and this house, along with the land surrounding it, had been left to relatives to care for. Now the relatives too were moving away. Tired of the small island existence and lured by tales of life in the modern world they had put the house up for sale.

The paint on the house was peeling, the hinges on the doors rusted; there was a leak in the ceiling over the kitchen and spare bedroom, and the plumbing would need to be replaced soon. But it was on the beach, it sat on 2 acres of land, and something about it – perhaps the semi-solitude of it's setting, called to my heart.

"I give you good deal," Temalii was saying. He was nearly forty, too old in my mind's estimate to be packing up his family and moving to a foreign land to start over again, and then I realized that was the same thing I was doing. But where Temalii and his family were wanting to go out into the big world I was wanting to hide from it. I wanted to bury myself away on a tiny little island in the middle of the south pacific.

Temalii flashed his friendly smile at me, eyes crinkling at the corners. Both he and his wife are Tahitian. Their dialect is very close to French but not quite the same so I had to listen carefully to make certain I understood him correctly. "Show me the boundaries… where the land ends," I explained, and he nodded and motioned for me to follow him.

Twenty minutes later I was once again standing at the back of the house and facing the sea. A calm settled over me. It has been years since I've been to the sea. The last time was when Michael and I…

_Stop! _Michael's gone, I tell myself. Let him go. Let him live in peace. Let _yourself_ live in peace. The thought nearly makes me laugh out loud though I feel more like crying. Now that Section is gone and I am free I feel at a loss as to what to do with my life.

I still can scarcely believe that the world is no longer my worry. The problems are still out there, the terrorists groups, extortionists, espionage… but they are no longer my concern. I kept my end of the bargain I'd made with my father. I remained at Section not out of any sense of loyalty, though I did feel some since he was my father. But no, I stayed because with that promise I was able to give back to the man I love his life and his son.

Sighing I look out over the clear blue water and wonder again where he is and if he is happy. I hope so. I hope that time has healed him of all that he had to endure while in Section. People thought he was invincible, a machine, but I knew different. I knew that beneath that machine-like facade he presented to the world was a man who longed to be free.

I imagine him living on a farm somewhere with Adam, or maybe he'd gone to the sea also to settle. I doubt if he would choose to live in the city or a suburb. There are too many anomalies to account for. It would be safer, easier to live somewhere semi-remote where he could keep track of people's coming and going.

Adam would be nearly thirteen now. A young man. I wonder how he is, if he still has that small bashful smile that reminds me of his father. I wonder too if Michael has found a mother for him. He will resist starting any new relationship for several reasons. There is his love for me, of that I am certain, and his knowledge that I'm still alive. He'll feel a sense of obligation toward me, especially since I remained in Section for him. He'll think that he has no right to love again while my own life is locked away. But I am hoping that someone will have entered his life. Someone who will help him to see life as it should be, full of light and joy, or at least a peaceful contentment. That's what I want for him.

"Ni-ki-ta!"

I turn at the sound of Temalii's voice, startled out of my reverie by the similarity in the way the Tahitians pronounce my name and the way Michael did. "What is it, Temalii?" I ask, smiling as I walk toward him. He has his youngest with him, a little girl of about five or six years old and carrying a plate covered with a broad, odd-shaped leaf. "Hi." I squat down to greet her.

"Give aunty," Temalii says, nudging the little girl, and I look up at him with a surprised look. "It's Tahitian bread," he explains, as his daughter offers the plate to me. "I put some fish in there too. You eat and rest. Later my brother-in-law, Poleu, come look at the work you want done, yes? You show him everything you want fix and he fix for you."

I smile as I thank him and Tiare, his daughter. She is beautiful with long brown hair and beautiful dark eyes. "Did you make this?" I ask, and she grins and shakes her head.

"My maman made it."

Temalii starts to leave and he is waving goodbye to me and urging to Tiare to follow him. "You can come back visit aunty later," he tells her when she lingers. "Now you come go home help maman. Come, come! Say bye to aunty."

She does and I stand there with the leaf covered plate in my hand and smile at her. This is the other reason I have decided to live here is because of the people and their open-heartedness. Three days ago I hadn't even known Temalii or his family and now suddenly I find myself adopted in and made one of them. _Aunty Nikita_. The thought brightens my spirits and I laugh, this time out loud, as I turn and go in to have lunch in my new home.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Walter

Three months and the house is coming along nicely. I had expected that all of the renovations would be done by this time but I discovered that I had a lot to learn when it came to island life and their time schedule. Temalii had introduced me to a cousin of his, Pelu, who had a small construction crew. The crew turned out to be a bunch of his nephews and friends who showed up for work in sarongs, flip flops and lots of good natured singing, laughter, and food to share. I felt as if I had stepped into another world, so different from Section and the life I'd had as a child. 

Pelu's wife and daughters, along with the wives of some of the other workers, often showed up throughout the day and always they would greet me with kisses to both cheeks. They would bring fruits or coconut drinks and lots of bantering with their men, then they would invite me to go to the market with them or down to the beach to sunbathe.

The men too were not always precise with their work schedule. Some days they showed up at the crack of dawn and would leave just after lunch because they wanted to go fishing that afternoon. On other days I would wait and they wouldn't show up until nearly noon, but they were so good-natured and happy that it was impossible for me to be angry with them. Slowly but surely they were teaching me to let go of my past and to find inner peace.

I would run on the beach in the mornings and watch the sunrise. Go on hikes to explore the island. Sometimes I would be accompanied in my explorations by Tiare or one of her cousins. On the way they'd stop to pick flowers and fashion delicate headbands out of them. "Aunty Kita!" they'd call, running over to show me their handiwork. Eventually they would ask me to bend down and they would place the wreath atop my head and flowers in my hair. It healed me to be in their presence.

The late evening is the only time I allow myself to merge back in with the bigger world. Bringing out my laptop I would scan through world headlines, occasionally seeing an article about the new multi-national committee set by the UN to handle terrorism. There are many names I recognize, some with contempt, others with pity, but always I view the stories with a forced sense of detachment, reminding myself that I have nothing to do with them any more.

As I sit and contemplate the changes in my life my thoughts inevitably turn to Walter and his role in all of this. Walter did for me what my own father hadn't done: he set me free. When I'd heard he was dying I felt as if my world was collapsing all over again. Even now there is still a huge ache in my heart that I feel each day since Walter's death. Walter was my mainstay. He was the one who kept me sane during those early years in Section. He helped me to believe that I could build a life within Section. He strengthened my resolve to find meaning in my life, to look for the good in our life instead of seeing only the bad. He helped me to see the real Michael and to understand him. Walter was the one who convinced me of Michael's love for me when I was too angry and hurt to see it. He was my pillar, my friend and confidante I relied upon when Michael was gone.

Walter was in a coma when I reached him at the farm. He never regained consciousness. I was devastated to have lost this man I loved so much. I felt as if I'd lost my last friend and was doomed now to live a life of self-imposed exile within Section. But I should have known to trust Walter. I should have known to trust in his love for me.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

I watch the waves rolling in onto the sand and am lulled by its sound. I have no doubt in my mind that it was Walter who exposed Section to the outside world. The last time I'd seen him alive he'd taken my hand and squeezed it. "When the time comes, Sugar, don't look back. Find Michael and live."

Back then I didn't understand what he meant, and he hadn't been willing to comment further. But less than 24 hours after Walter died I received an urgent call from the Agency: someone had released an electronic file to the media and the UN detailing Section's existence. The file was untraceable but it included amongst other things specific names, funding sources, and recruitment practices.

After viewing the file I knew it had to be Walter. I don't know how long he'd been working on the file, for there was included in it information that he would not have had access to… but Birkoff would have, or Michael. I suspect that all three of them may have been involved in the file's development, but then Birkoff died, Michael was set free, and that left only Walter.

Sighing I close my eyes as sadness sweeps over me. It is at times like this that I feel much older than I am; as if I've lived several different lifetimes and all of the people I once knew are gone. It's also at times like these that I miss Michael most.

"Call me."

I stare at the message on the PDA. It's from O'Brian – the second one in the past three days. I can imagine his frustration as he awaits my response… He's never been very good at patience but he's a good friend and I trust him completely. Aside from Jason and Monique he's the only other person from Section who knows how to contact me. He's also the only person that knows Michael is still alive. There were many times when he could have betrayed me by revealing that truth to the Agency or to the UN, but he hasn't and I know that he never will.

Jason has returned to his civilian life. A story was made up of how he had faked his own death in order to travel the world in anonymity. Now he's back at the head of his company and resuming the life that he had before Section. On the outside he appears to be the same person, but I know that he has aged much in the years that he's been gone. It's impossible to remain the same person after being in Section.

O'Brian chose to remain with the government and is working with the special task force that the UN created. When I had asked him why he had shrugged his shoulders and said, "There's nothing left for me out there."

I stare at O'Brian's message on the PDA. After some consideration (this would be the first time I've contacted him since leaving) I type in my response. "Yes?"

Less than a minute later his answer comes back. He wants me to call him at a specific time. He doesn't give a phone number because I already know the private line he keeps. I sign off without responding, knowing that he will expect my call.

At the arranged time I establish a secure line and contact O'Brien. His voice, rough and scratchy, makes me smile. "About time," he scolds. "What you'd do, drop off the face of the Earth?"

"You said you needed to talk to me."

"Yeah, well, thought I'd better let you know. Someone's been digging into Sections old files. Judging from the files that were accessed I suspect they're looking for you."

My hold on the phone tightens as my mind rushes over the details of the past few days and weeks. Have I been spotted? Has there been anyone new hanging around? I automatically begin ticking off in my mind who in my past life might know that I'm still alive. I hadn't been in the field much since becoming Operations, maybe once or twice, but still there had to be a few enemies out there who remembered me from my earlier days in Section. It was possible they'd discovered I was still alive.

"Who?" I ask, and hear the hesitation in his voice. "Who is it, O'Brian?" I demand.

Sighing, he says with some irritation, "I'm not certain, but I suspect it's Michael."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

_Michael. _

I am stunned into silence when I hear his name. And then the sweetest elation fills me and I want to shout and cry at once. Instead I say quietly and none too steadily to O'Brian, "What makes you say that?"

"Intuition."

My jubilation flees. "You don't know for sure?"

"Well who else would know how to access those codes? Or more importantly, where to look? If Jason's brother were still alive I'd suspect him, but he's not so that only leaves one other person."

"But you don't know for certain," I repeat, feeling even more disappointed. I hadn't dared allowed myself to think that Michael might look for me though I had secretly hoped it deep inside. I had this private wish, a fantasy if you will, that upon hearing about Section's demise Michael would come searching for me. He would take me in his arms and hold me to him and never let me go again.

"No I don't," O'Brian was saying. "I've cut off the path he accessed but that'll only slow him down if he's determined."

"Thanks, O'Brian," I say, and prepare to hang up.

"Whoa! Hold on there. That's it? Thank you?" There's a pause before he continues. "You are going to do something about it, aren't you?"

"No."

"No? Look Nikita, if you want me to, I can find out where he is…"

"No!" My voice is harsh. "You are to leave him alone, do you understand? I don't want him bothered."

"Bothered?" O'Brian laughed. "I don't get you, Nik. I know you love the guy, you haven't been able to forget him since he's left, but now that you're finally able to go to him, you won't?"

Shaking my head I say goodbye and disconnect the line. O'Brian's right, he doesn't understand my reasoning. I can't go to Michael. I understand him better than any other person in this world and that's why I can't be the one to go to him. I don't expect O'Brian to understand that my love for Michael runs deep enough that I need to let him make the first move. The choice has to be his.

He'd said to me when we parted that there would come a time when Adam wouldn't need him anymore and I answered by looking into his eyes and telling him that he would know where to find me.

That still holds true today. If Michael wants to find me he will. If he wants me to be a part of the new life he's formed, he'll come for me. But I will not show up on his doorstep. iNo./i Absolutely not. I've done that once before and received the shock of my life. I'm not strong enough to have that happen again. Especially since this time it would be the real thing and not some mission.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

We have had the most amazing, unbelievable weather lately. The weather service said that two pressure systems had collided about a thousand miles off shore. The result were ocean waves that must have been twenty to thirty feet high. They formed huge mountains of water that churned and pounded onto the shore.

I was awakened Tuesday night by Ione, Pelu's son, knocking loudly on my front door. "Big storm coming!" he said, smiling as he stood outside in the drizzling rain and pointed toward the beach. I could hear then the crash of the surf on the sand.

Grabbing a parka and slipping my feet into flipflops – it's what people here on the islands wear in place of shoes – I followed Ione out back where I was surprised to see nearly twenty people, including Pelu and his wife Teinia, working frantically to fill sandbags. I noticed then, too, how swollen the ocean was. It had risen at least a good three to four feet in depth. The shoreline, which normally is about 150 yards away from my home, was now less than 65 feet away and creeping closer. Teinia waved and hurried over to me as Ione ran back to help the other men.

"Your house good it sit on a hill," Teinia said, nodding with her head. "But it still might get wet if the ocean continue to rise. Pelu think it will, that's why he bring the boys. They fill the sandbags and place them around. It block out the water so not too much damage."

"What about your place?" I asked, inwardly amazed and grateful that they would come to help me.

"Oh we okay," Teinia said, making a waving motion with her hand. "We move to the schoolhouse and wait til the storm finish then we go back."

Their home is not on an incline like mine. "Has the water gone in?" I asked, and she nodded and grinned broadly.

She held her hand up to her hip. "This high!"

I was appalled. "Teinia! Shouldn't these men be there helping you?"

She shook her head and wrinkled her nose. "Nah, no need. We okay. Now maybe Pelu build me a new house, bigger and better than the old one!"

I stared at her another moment and then couldn't help but smile back.

Teinia's reaction is typical of the women here. They do not waste time worrying over the things they cannot change but instead look to what they can do. It's a trait that I'm trying to adopt into my own life.

The storm didn't turn out to be as bad as we thought it would be, but the waves it generated were incredible, even terrifying at times, and lasted throughout the week. The worst was at high tide when the water came within a few feet of the house, but thanks to the sandbags Pelu and his men put up, my home remained safe. Pelu and Teinia's house, on the other hand, had not fared so well. The water broke through the back door and windows, flooded through the house and forced its way out the front garage. They moved in with relatives while Pelu and his work crew assessed what could be salvaged and what had to go.

There was a lot of clean-up work that followed in the ensuing days. I pitched in where I could, mostly helping Teinia and the other women with the washing and cooking. It was while I was hanging out sheets on the clothesline that I reflected on how different my life had become. I felt different too, like a new person almost. It was as if that part of my life, the years that belonged to Section and all of the darkness surrounding it, had faded further into the distance. Now I was just Nikita.

I've not heard from O'Brian in weeks. A part of me is glad, it's easier to focus on the now when there are no ties with the past. But I'd be lying if I said that I am completely happy that he hasn't called back, for it can only mean that whoever had been looking for me has stopped. I tell myself that that is good news… but my heart and the ache I feel there does not agree with me.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Thirteen months have passed since I've moved here; twenty-two months since I've been free. My life has settled into some semblance of a daily routine, but still, I find that I have much more time than I know what to do with.

I've taken up painting, snorkeling and spear fishing, the latter being taught to me by Ione and a cousin of his named Patricia. They've taught me much about the sea; how to tell whether the tide is coming in or going out, and the names of different plants and fishes. Nevertheless despite all that I am learning, the friends I've made and my best efforts to keep busy and fill my days with activity I feel a growing sense of restlessness.

Questions of doubt fill me. Is it right that I live this almost idyllic life, especially after all that I've committed in the name of Section? Sometimes I feel that I should have been like O'Brian and remained behind to work for the government, especially when I see the headlines of the growing strife in the Middle East. I have skills and knowledge that can be useful there and I feel as if I have an obligation to be there. But at the same time I am reluctant to commit myself to that dark world again. A part of me is weary of the fight, of the blood and gore and death. I want so much for my life to be normal.

"You know what wrong?" Teinia said to me one evening as I walked with her and her toddler Lili upon the beach. She must have noticed my melancholy lately because she didn't hesitate to share with me her thoughts about the cause of it.

"You too alone! A beautiful woman like you, young and plenty energy… You need big man make you feel good. You make him feel good too! You marry, make lots of babies and then you happy, no?"

I smile at her theory before dismissing it. "I don't need a man, Teinia. I need a life. Something to do that is worthwhile and important."

"Love important. Raising babies important."

I shook my head and looked out over the sea as we walked. Her words struck a chord hidden deep within me as I remembered a conversation Michael and I had in what seems now a lifetime ago. "_We could have our own children_."

To this day I can barely believe Michael spoke that. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine he would have thoughts of us conceiving a child; we certainly never spoke of it. Usually it was me who did most of the talking as we lay in bed. I would tell him of my dreams of him and me building a life together somewhere far away on a secluded island with no one around to bother us, and he would lay quietly and listen. If I asked him what it was he dreamed of he would smile at me and say that his dream was a secret, kept hidden away where no one else could reach it but where he could always escape to. "You're there," he confessed. "You're always there in my dreams, Nikita."

"I have a cousin," Teinia said, bringing me back to the present. "Big. Strong. Handsome boy. I introduce you if you like."

I laughed aloud. "No thank you, Teinia. I'll be okay."

Lili had plopped herself down in the sand and was playing with seaweed that had washed ashore. Teinia and I sat down nearby and enjoyed the early evening breeze and the beginning of what would be a beauiful sunset.

"You love someone," Teinia said suddenly, and I looked up to find her watching me carefully. "That's why you no date, yes?"

"No," I lie smoothly. "There is no one. Sometimes a woman just needs to be alone and, mind you, there's nothing wrong with that."

Teinia threw her head back and laughed.

"What?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"You're funny."

"Well I'm glad you think so."

"I know you love someone because I used to have that same look when Pelu and I first married."

I looked at her in surprise and Teinia explained. "Pelu and I didn't know each other. My father was the chief of my village and Pelu's father was the chief of his. They decided that a marriage between our families would be good. So Pelu and I married."

"Wow." I would never have guessed my two good friends had had an arranged marriage. "Well I'm glad things worked out for you two."

"Oh it wasn't easy in the beginning. I had a boyfriend and I loved him very much. Pelu too had a girlfriend. I cried many tears in the beginning. And I also had that look, the same one I see many times on your face."

I turned my gaze out to sea and didn't comment, but I was intrigued to by her story. "What happened to change your mind about Pelu?" I asked.

Teinia shrugged her shoulders. "It's hard to say. I hated him at first, and I know he did not love me either. But over time we began to know each other. It is hard to live with a man and share his bed and not begin to feel something for him. In time those feelings grew deeper. And then I had Ione and the other children; now I can't imagine what my life would be like without Pelu."

"Time heals all wounds," I said softly, thinking more of Michael and myself.

"Only if you allow it too," Teinia answered. "Pelu and I could have had a very different story to tell if we did not learn to let go of our past and allow our hearts to love again."

Her story was like a double-edged sword. I knew what she was saying, that I should let go of whoever it was that was in my heart and move on with life. I knew that she was only trying to help, but I couldn't let go of Michael. He was a part of me. Section had changed me in so many ways, it made me do things that I am too ashamed to share with anyone out in the real world. But Michael knew and understood. He was there and knew from experience everything that Section had done to me, to us. Those are things you can't share with others no matter how much you want to. I imagine it must be similar to what many soldiers go through in war and of having to learn to deal with the horror of those experiences once they returned home. I did more then just kill though. I don't even like to think of the other things I had to commit in the name of Section. With Michael there was no need for words because he had to do the same things. We were bonded in that way. So why wouldn't I go and find him? The answer was simple. I was afraid.

Lili grew tired of her play and came over to her mother. Teinia stood and lifted her up into her arms. "Okay, time for us to go home and get dinner ready." She turned to ask if I wanted to join them but I shook my head and smiled at her.

"You think about what I said," she advised, and I nodded.

"Thank you for sharing that story with me," I tell her. "I'm glad everything worked out for you and Pelu."

"It will for you too," Teinia said, smiling. "Trust in your heart to do what is right."

Two weeks later I was returning from an early morning run on the beach. The tide was out and the ocean breeze was refreshing. After my talk with Teinia I had thought long and hard about my feelings for Michael and I decided to accept that he was gone from my life. I will always love him and he will always be a part of me, but I couldn't keep torturing myself with this hope that we would one day be together again. I had to live again, be free and enjoy this life I now had.

As I neared home I saw Ione walking toward me. He carried his fishing spear in one hand and goggles and net bag in the other.

"Heading out?" I asked, and he nodded.

"The tide is perfect. Want to go with me?"

I looked out over the ocean and smiled. Why not? It was a beautiful morning and I had nothing planned for the day. "I'll go change and get my stuff."

"Cool. I'll teach you how to catch octopus!"

I wrinkled my nose and laughed. It couldn't be any worse then the time we went fishing for eels. I left Ione sitting on the beach and ran up to the house to get my things, which included my underwater camera, and slather on a good dose of sun block.

The water was crystal clear that morning. Ione and I went out to a spot where we knew a large tide pool existed and there would be plenty of fish. I didn't much like spear fishing so I let Ione do that while I spent my time exploring and taking photos. It was so beautiful under the water and I loved the anticipation of going back home afterward and looking up information on all of the different plant and fish species.

After two hours Ione called out to me and held up his catch. It included two large gray octopus and I shivered as Ione laughed. Seeing his youthful enthusiasm made me suddenly think of Birkoff, something I haven't done in a long time, and I wished silently that he could be here to share this experience. My poor Birkoff; he spent his whole life inside of Section. How I wish he could have experienced this world.

"Hey," Ione said, and he pointed past me toward shore. "I think someone is here to see you. Up there by your house."

I turned to look, pushing the wet hair out of my face and squinted from the sunlight sparkling off of the water. Ione was right, someone was up at my house but the person had disappeared around the front and all I had been able to tell was that it was a man.

I wasn't expecting anyone. "Did you recognize him?" I asked, and Ione shook his head.

There had been something vaguely familiar about the silhouette I'd seen. I began making my way back to shore while Ione followed behind. "Tell your mother that I'll be by later," I told him as we reached the beach.

"You want me to come up to the house with you?" he asked, but I shook my head. Teinia's whole family was very protective of me, which was a nice feeling, but I was more then capable of taking care of myself and I wouldn't dare put any of them in any possible danger. Not that I was expecting trouble but, still, it paid to be cautious.

Up at my house there was a black jeep in the driveway. My senses were on alert as I looked around for whoever it was that had driven the jeep. Just as I was about to head around to the other side of the house I heard a sound behind me. I spun around and stopped in my tracks.

There – just a few feet away from me – stood the person I had given up hope of ever seeing again. _Michael._


	8. Chapter 7 Conclusion

_Michael._

He looked a little older, his hair once again long and curling around his neck. He had a beard and was tanned. All I could do was stand there and stare at him, unable to believe that it was really him, Michael, and that he was standing right there in front of me.

Slowly he walked toward me, his gaze locked upon mine, and I felt a moment's panic. What if he wasn't the same anymore? What if we'd both changed over the past years? What if we found out that who we'd become was no longer who we once were? What if what we had was all in the past and we didn't -- or rather _he _didn't love me anymore?

I stood frozen still, unable to move as Michael drew slowly closer. I could see into his eyes, the questioning look in them as he searched my own gaze; _hesitation, uncertainty._ And then slowly it dawned on me that I was reading his thoughts, seeing into him just as I did when I knew him before. Despite my best efforts to be strong I found my eyes watering as he drew nearer still and reached up hesitantly to touch my face.

In the next moment I was in his arms, embraced tenderly by this man that I remembered and love so well. All my fears and doubts were vanquished as he ran his fingers through my hair and whispered in my ear, "I thought I'd lost you again."

His words, a throwback to an earlier time in our relationship, brought a smile of remembrance to my lips as I pulled back and looked at him. How glorious he looked to me, standing there and smiling at me with his eyes.

"Am I a possession to be lost?" I asked, raising one brow at him. But he knew I wasn't angry. How could I be when all that I had dreamed of for the past eight and a half years was standing before me? For the first time ever I really, _really_ began to believe that Michael and I had a chance at a life together. Just thinking about it overwhelmed me with emotion.

Michael gathered me to him and folded his arms around me. God, how I've missed him; the feel of him, his scent, his quiet strength… All of it came rushing back to me and I felt my whole world shift. I felt complete again.

After a few minutes I pulled back again and looked around. "Where's Adam?"

"Papaeete."

That wasthirty minutesaway from where we were. "Is he with someone? Will he be alright?" The last time I'd seen Adam he was a young child of five. I knew he was now a teenager, but it is still difficult for me to reconcile that knowledge with the picture of Adam I have in my mind.

"Yes." Michael looked toward the house. "Let's go inside."

Our fingers remained linked as we entered the house. I didn't want to let him go and I don't think he wanted to let go either, but I'd be lying if I said that everything fell instantly back to the way it used to be with us. A lot of time had passed since we'd last seen each other and, despite our obvious joy at being together again, there was also a strange awkwardness between us now that the initial shock of our reunion was over.

I had so much to tell him, so much that I wanted to hear about him and his life for the past several years. But I didn't know where to start or even what to say. I pointed him to the living room as I went to take a quick shower and change. I returned several minutes later to find him standing at the window staring out at the ocean. He turned as I approached. I took a good long look at him, touched his face and his beard.

"How long have you had this look?"

One corner of his mouth lifted into a smile. "A couple of years."

His hands went to my hair and he stroked it gently. "It's long again."

I nodded. Then Michael held out his hand to me and I placed my hand in his. He led me to the couch and we sat down. For the next several minutes we sat there staring at each other and marveling that we were actually together in the same room.

"Why didn't you contact me?" he asked quietly.

All my noble reasoning for not going to him seemed almost silly now. I shook my head, letting him know that I didn't want to answer that particular question. He shifted and turned my face so that he could see my eyes.

"Did your feelings for me change?" he asked.

"No!" I drew back to stare at him in disbelief. But just as quickly hedrew me back to him, his hand reaching up to gently cup my face.

"Then how could you think my feelings for you would have changed?" he asked, proving that he could read me just as well now as he could back then. There was a look of sadness in his eyes and I realized suddenly the mistake I had made. Feeling ashamed, I lowered my gaze as I tried to explain.

"When we said goodbye at the station I wanted you to be happy, Michael. I didn't expect you to come back. I know you said you would some day but I didn't want to hold you to that promise. Adam's your son and he's always going to need you. And then when I was suddenly free of Section, I wanted to find you but years had passed and I had to consider that maybeyou'd found someone who…"

I didn't finish my sentence as Michael leaned over and placed his fingers over my lips, and then he kissed me. He took my breath away and all my reasoning as well. I found myself wondering how I could ever have thought Michael would put me out of his life. He's not that type of man. He doesn't love easily, I of all people know that having witnessed the torment he went through when he discovered that Simone was still alive, and then again when his time with Elena ended. It was only after he had overcome the guilt of his feelings to those two women, and to a certain extent to me, that he had been able to give me his heart completely. I should have known that as long as Michael knew I was alive he would not give his heart to any other.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh." He kissed me again. "We have another chance if you want it."

I smiled and kissed him back, showing him just how much I wanted it.

Chapter 8:

I would have been happy to stay there with Michael for the rest of the day but there were other matters we had to attend to, namely Adam. "Who is he with?" I asked, and Michael explained that he had rented two rooms at a hotel in Papeete. One for himself and the other for Adam and his friend Fetu.

"Fetu?" The name sounded Polynesian. I stared at Michael, noticing again his tanned skin and the lighter shaded streaks in his hair. "Michael, where do you live?"

He smiled slowly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Guess."

I didn't want to guess, I was too impatient for details about his life outside of Section. "Tell me," I said, taking hold of his hands.

He spread his fingers wide, palms facing up and holding my hands atop his. "Manihi," he answered, as I stared at him blankly. "It's part of the Tuamotu archipelago, about an hour and a half by air from Bora Bora."

My mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You're here in Tahiti?"

"In French Polynesia, yes."

I was astounded and at a loss for words. I had never imagined he would be so close to me all this time. For some reason I thought that he would have chosen to go north somewhere and settle on a farm or in a small community.

He appeared amused at my look of shock. "You once said you wanted to live on a secluded island."

"Yes but I didn't think that you'd… that I… that we'd end up picking the same place."

He tugged my hand gently, pulling me closer before leaning over to touch his forehead to mine. "I wanted a place that would remind me of you."

He explained that he worked as a security consultant for the one resort on the island of Manihi. Not that there was ever any real security threat since the island was so tiny and practically everyone on the island was related to or knew everyone else. The job though allowed Michael to know who was coming and going from the island.

"It's remote but beautiful," he said. "You told me that that was your dream."

I stared at him, a suspicion beginning to form in my mind. "You speak as if you knew I'd one day be here."

Michael didn't say anything. That, more than anything, convinced me that what I suspected was true. "You gave Walter that information, didn't you?"

He remained silent but I didn't need to hear his answer, I could see it in his eyes. It was all beginning to make sense now. "The Gemstone -- all that time Madeline and Paul thought George had it, but it was never recovered after his death. You had it and you gave it to Walter before you left Section."

Michael nodded once. "I planned to use it in case your father wouldn't let you leave with me. But then… things changed."

I knew what he was referring to -- that day on the bridge when he had been willing to give up his life in order to save his son. My father had given me an option to save both Michael and Adam if I would remain behind in Section.

"I couldn't ask you to break your word," Michael explained. "So I did the next best thing andsent Walter a copy of the disc."

Everything was clicking into place. "Walter used the codes to access the information he needed to make the disc he released to the public."

"Yes."

I sighed and looked away. "He could have set himself free with that information instead of spending his final years in Section."

Michael put his arm around me and held me. "He did what he thought was best, Nikita. I wasn't in a position to know what was going on with you anymore but Walter was. He promised to watch over you and protect you the best he could."

I began to cry as I thought of Walter. He deserved a much better life than the one he had.

"What about Adam?" I asked, as I wiped at my eyes. I was wondering how he would react to seeing me.

Michael was silent for several seconds, his thumb caressing the back of my hand. "He doesn't remember much from back then. He knows that his mother was killed in a car accident but he doesn't remember much about Elena. I don't talk to him about what happened to him when he was young and he's never mentioned it."

"Do you think his seeing me might trigger his memory?"

Michael shook his head. "I don't know. Perhaps."

I studied his face; the averted gaze, the way the muscles around his mouth tightened, and I knew that he was more than a little concerned about that possibility. He looked at me then, his fingers closing around mine.

"If that happens then we'll deal with it."

I nodded my agreement though I wasn't as sure inside. Even if Adam didn't remember me from the past, my sudden appearance would certainly seem odd to him.

"Where does he think you are right now, Michael?"

"Visiting an old friend."

I gave him a skeptical look. "Do you often come to Bora Bora to visit old friends?"

"I told him that someone I once knew long ago had moved here to Tahiti and that I wanted to look you up."

"Did you tell him your old friend was a woman?"

Silence.

I gave a small laugh and stared down at our joined hands. "Well tell me then how you would like to proceed. Shall I remain a good friend who lives here on Bora Bora whom you can stop by and visit whenever you can? Let's see, if Manihi is about 2 hours from here I suppose we can arrange for you to fly over on some business pretext once every few months? That would work, don't you think?"

"Be serious, Nikita."

"I am serious, Michael. I don't know how Adam will react to all of this or how you want to handle it. What role do you want me to be in your life? An old friend? Your long lost cousin…?"

"My wife."

I blinked and stared at him. It was strange hearing Michael say that, and stranger still to know that he was saying it to me. I've always thought of us as partners, friends, lovers… but not _married._ Maybe because the notion of him and me being married, really married and not some mission profile, would have been absurd in the Section world we once lived in. But we weren't in Section anymore I reminded myself. We were free…

"I don't know that I want to marry you, Michael. You have rotten luck with wives."

"Shall we live then in sin?" he asked, a smile forming in his eyes.

"That won't be as bad as some of the other things we've done in life."

Michael grew serious. "Marry me, Nikita. I've waited a long time to be able to say that to you."

I smiled and lifted my hand to his cheek. "Do I have to love, honor and obey?" I quipped, and Michael smiled back at me.

"You were never good at obeying, and Idon't wantyou paying honor to me."

"I guess that leaves only the love part," I answered. "I think I can manage that."

We agreed that I would come to dinner that night. Michael would introduce me to Adam and together we would gauge his reaction. We also agreed to stick as close to the truth of our past as possible. That is the truth as it had once been presented to Adam a long time ago. I insisted that Michael reveal to him before I showed up for dinner that I was a woman friend. Michael also disclosed that this was not the first time Adam was meeting me but that he had met me once before when his mother was still alive. Michael told me later that that bit of knowledge made Adam feel a little easier about meeting me.

They were waiting for me at their hotel restaurant when I arrived. There was Michael, Adam, and Adam's friend, Fetu. Michael stood as I entered and the two boys followed suit. My eyes were drawn to Adam and I couldn't believe how much he had grown. He was nearly as tall his father, his hair still jet black, his dark eyes large and beautiful like Elena's. I'd been nervous up to that point about how Adam would react to meeting me and about how I should act toward him, but the moment I laid eyes on him and saw his shy smile I felt some internal instinct that told me we would be alright.

The evening went better than I expected. Adam, I discovered, was still very much like the young boy I remembered; happy, quiet, and polite. He and Fetu were thrilled to be in Papaeete because it was such a big change from Manihi. I learned that Michael usually brought Adam and Fetu to Bora Bora once or twice a year but that otherwise they remained in Manihi.

"What do you like most about Papaeete?" I asked.

"The shops," Adam answered.

"And the girls," Fetu added, and they both laughed as Michael and I smiled at each other.

Later, after dinner was over and the boys had asked to be excused, Michael and I walked along the beach under the moonlight. "You've raised Adam to be a fine young man," I said to him.

"He's growing up," Michael answered, and I thought I detected a note of sadness in his voice.

"Are you afraid he'll want to leave?"

"All of the youngsters here do."

"That's understandable. They're curious about the world and want to see it for themselves."

Michael was silent for several long seconds, then he said quietly. "I'm afraid to let him go but I know that I have to."

I stopped and turned to face him. "Then we should prepare him, Michael. Let's help him so that when the time comes he'll be able to stand on his own."

"Does this mean you're accepting my proposal?"

"Was there ever any doubt?" I asked, smiling at him.

Conclusion

I remained on Bora Bora for another year because we wanted to give Adam time to adjust to me entering into their lives. Every month Michael and Adam would come to Papeete to spend a weekend and they would often bring Fetu. The boys became good friends with Ione and his other siblings. Tenia and Pelu have adopted them and Michael into their family as well and Adam loves having this extended network of family. I love seeing the contentment in Michael's eyes as he watches his son. Some months I flyover to Manihi and stay at the resort that Michael worked for. He was right; the island is beautiful and I fell in love with it immediately.

The week before Christmas I flew up to London to spend time with Monique. She had bought a flat in London and was working in a bookstore. She'd made new friends and was dating a young man whom she said "…wasn't all that cute, but made her laugh". For me that was what was most important. I missed not being with Michael and Adam for Christmas but I loved being able to spend time with Monique. We have had to overcome many obstacles in our own relationship as sisters but now that we are older and wiser, not to mention free from the influence of Section, we cherish the bond that we haveformed.

I didn't tell her that Michael and I were together at first but she guessed the truth. Monique said I had ajoy about me that she'd never seen before. "Either you've fallen in love with someone," she mused, "or Michael has found you." I smiled and said that maybe it was a little of both. Monique screamed –literally- and I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement. We were like two teenaged girls giggling as we talked of the men we loved, an experience I had never had the pleasure of having while growing up, and I loved it.

I also had a chance to contact O'Brien, not an easy task considering how busy he is. I've always felt guilty about the circumstances that forced him into Section and that ended his life in the free world. Speaking to him on the phone and learning that he had met someone and they were living together in New York (O'Brien was working at the United Nations and she was with the FBI) brought tears to my eyes. Knowing that he is doing well lessens the pain and sadness I feel when I think of Birkoff and Walter. They didn't make it out of Section, a regret that will stay with me until my dying day. But at least O'Brien made it out alive and is living life again.

When I returned home to Tahiti I was surprised and delighted to find a message from Adam on my answering machine. He asked if I was coming over to spend New Year's Eve with them. "We don't have any fireworks or stuff like that but it'll be nice to have you come over to visit if you can."

Michael and I have since then announced our engagement. We'll be married at the end of February. Adam shrugs his shoulders when people ask him how he feels about his father marrying after all this time. "Nikita makes him happy," he says. "If he's happy then I'm happy." He's only asked me once about his mother and I told him all that I remembered of Elena, that she was a sweet beautiful woman and of how he looked very much like her.

Nextsummer we plan to take Adam and Fetu up to Hawaii. Then later on in the year we want to take him to the continental U.S. I think he'll love learning to ski. Michael wants him to visit some of the universities while we're there. Our hope is that with enough exposure to the outside world Adam won't feel so trapped with his life here on Manihi. We want him to know that as he continues to grow he will have the freedom to come and go as he pleases but that this will always be his home and that his father and I will always welcome him with open arms.

As for Michael and me, we've found peace here on Manihi with each other. I still marvel that we're actually here and free of Section. We fly often to Bora Bora for day visits or the weekend to check on our house there and to see Teinia and Pelu and their family. On a recent trip Teinia said to me, "A good man who loves you and plenty babies is good life goal." I looked at her and wondered how she could know so much. "Have you told Michael?" she asked, and I laughed out loud.

"He knew before I did."

"Smart man that one," she said, and nodded her head. "And handsome too. No wonder you never like look at any other man. Smart girl. You two will make good parents and Adam will be happy to have a little brother or sister."

I laugh and look over to see Michael watching me. He smiles and holds out his hand to me, and I excuse myself from Teinia to go to him. Adam has gone with Ione and Patricia to meet up with their friends for a movie in town. Michael and I have a few hours to ourselves. Not surprisingly we end up at home in bed making love. Afterward as we lay in each other's arms and as I am falling asleep, Michael whispers to me, "I love you."

"Love you too," I tell him, snuggling closer. My last thought before drifting off to sleep is how grateful I am that Michael and I have been given this chance to start over again in life, and of what a very good life this is we have.

The End

((Hope you enjoyed this. Happy Valentine's day everyone!))


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